Spitzit’s House

Where serious topics come to relax

Hilary Clinton, what’s on your mind right now?

'WTF?'

'WTF?'

So I was wondering recently what must be going through Hilary Clinton’s mind in light of everything going on right now in the political landscape. I can only imagine it is one excruciating nightmare after another, but it was an interesting satirical exercise to try and imagine what I would be thinking right now if I were in Hilary Clinton’s shoes.

Hilary is a no nonsense pit bull of a woman and a fierce American who doesn’t like to lose. In private, I imagine that the profanities flow through her lips like cheap beer at a red neck family reunion, and that she has thrown more than a few obscenities and blunt objects at slick Willie in their time together. It gives me comfort to think that Hilary was privately F-Bombing like a drunk sailor when she conceded the nomination to Obama. I know I would have been. Obviously, Hilary is very loyal to her party, but privately, I like to imagine that she secretly loathes Obama with every grain of her being.

What about now with Palin as McCain’s running mate? This is a tough one.

On the one hand she could be thinking ‘HOLY S**T!! I am some odd $20 Million in debt breaking my friggin neck to get back into the White House. It is bad enough I lose the Democratic nom to that a-hole Obama, but if I have to watch that Brady Bunch bitch from Alaska, who was taking notes at a PTA meeting last month, go waltzing into the White House without ever dropping a dime…well, that would just FRIGGING SUCK big time!’

However, on the other hand, Hilary may secretly be rooting for Sarah Palin just due to the whole “girl power” and “I secretly hate Obama” thing. I like to imagine that this is the more likely thought just due to the fact that Hilary is a woman first and a Democrat second. I understand that Hilary and Sarah are on polar opposites of the spectrum in their political and personal beliefs, but sometimes in the emotional rage of those you may despise (Obama), one may secretly latch onto individuals that you may not otherwise have much in common with (Palin), and possibly even find some comfort in the few things you do have in common.

Of course, I don’t know or claim to know Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin from a hole in the ground. I do know Hilary has a huge debt, and lost out on making history of the first female president to a young smooth talking guy that no one really knows that much about. Admittedly, I am not a Hilary fan, but I would have rather seen her get the Democratic nom than Obama. I do empathize a little for her. I know if it were me, I would be beating my head against the wall, or at least kicking old Bill in the groin to blow off some steam.

Hopefully, one day in her golden years, not too long from now, The Hil will write an honest memoir that will recount her true thoughts around this election, and I will have my fingers crossed that she really wanted to kidney punch Obama, and hug Palin, but on the surface remained the ever loyal Democrat and privately took all of her suppressed anger out on Bill instead.

I guess we will never really know, but it is fun to imagine.

Advertisements

September 4, 2008 Posted by | Everything Else | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Sarah Palin for Republican VP – WTH?

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is no relation to Michael Palin of Monty Python fame, but wouldn’t that be the “funny as hell” icing on the cake! What a shocker of a running mate for McCain! McCain/Palin 2008. It has a nice ring to it.

I am not a politically active or opinionated person, as I pretty much believe that all politicians are fork tongued, double speaking…well, politicians. I vote every election, but I don’t get caught up in the partisan banter and mud slinging garbage that every election devolves into. They generally all make fools of themselves in the process anyway. But I just can’t resist watching what continues to be a historical election year. And to think that I thought that the last “chad counting” election would be hard to top. You just don’t have to be an avid fan or follower of politics to know when you are seeing something unique and strangely exciting happening. History has already been made in the Primaries and we are now guaranteed to have either our first female or black man in the White House, sort of. I know the VP doesn’t live in the White House, but you know what I mean.

Palin has very little political experience, and I have to admit that it is a little scary considering the thought of having someone so green sitting behind the helm of the Oval Office desk if the President died or was unable to serve. Then again, this woman may just be one ball-busting kind of gal that will turn Washington on its head and have it swooning in the gaze of her dark smoldering “hockey-mom” eyes right before she plants her ethical knee of justice squarely in the corrupt groin of modern politics. She ain’t hard on the eyes either, but that won’t be relevant when it comes to the task of dealing with foreign policy, an unpopular war, and a questionable economy.

I am now even more excited to see what happens. The feeding frenzy has begun and I hope Palin is prepared to handle the attack of a million hungry sharks in the Democratic party and the razor sharp words of a Democratic slanted media that are ready to shred her pretty little image apart. The game is on, and the question is will she blink? Will she break down and cry? or will she weather the fury storm and come out on top and have us all endeared to her charming smile?

Palin, I just hope you don’t have any skeletons in your closet; no drugs, no stripping, sex tapes, or nude photos buried in some obscure drawer somewhere just waiting for this moment in your life to suddenly surface. If you’re pure of heart, with a stiff back-bone, and are as hard-assed as some seem to think you are, then this ticket may just have a better than average chance of taking this race to the White House.

God Bless America!

August 29, 2008 Posted by | Everything Else, politics | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments